, men with few friends often disrupt the well laid plans women have made to maintain their own wellbeing. Without the structure of work and buddies, men often look to their wives, sisters, even adult daughters, for everything from “what’s for lunch?,” to “what areAre guys just bad at friendship in their later years? Not sure I am willing to go that far entirely.
Work is not the only place where connections happen, but those other places are becoming harder to find — especially for men. Not home, not work, but third places and spaces that facilitate chance collisions to meet other people. Consider the decline in participation in community service organizations, e.g.
Comprehensive longevity planning is about living well in later life, not just financial planning. Without rich social connections, health, even coupled with ample wealth, might still result in unhappiness in older age. It appears that men, in particular, must work harder than most women to invest and build their social portfolio.
Joining a group may add to your social portfolio. While national community service organizations may be on the decline, there are smaller local groups. They may take time to find, but identifying them before retirement is part of good longevity planning. One man in Scotland started a group of retirees that found connection in a common mission — rebuilding a WWI fighter plane. The project, and the relationships that followed, spanned over two decades.