The Funniest Marriage Tweets To Get You Through This Week

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'We’re having company over today, so naturally my husband is helping me prepare by looking for the soil testing kit that he bought over a year ago.'

the best part about having a husband is you get to wake up to empty snack boxes that had snacks in them when you went to bedHalf the married arguments would not happen if wives did not talk over the noise of the appliancesWe are out of ibuprofen so I gave my husband 2 brown m&ms hoping he won’t noticeMade it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast.

my wife has been married to me, a man, for nearly a decade yet still asks questions like “why did you put that there??” as if I have any ideaOur cable went out so my wife suggested I call them, and we laughed and laughed.Spent last night in the ER from severe abdominal pain for 2 days. After an EKG, blood work and X-rays the doctor told me I'm full of actual shit. My wife said she's been telling me that for years.

 

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