Homosexuality Only Thing Parents Can Accept About Son

📆 6/30/2019 10:00 PM
📰 TheOnion

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GRAND FORKS, ND—Expressing their deep disappointment with his behavior and lifestyle, local parents Jeff and Susan Lindegaard told reporters Tuesday that they are simply unable to accept anything about their 24-year-old son Henry aside from his homosexuality. “Look, we tried to raise Henry right, and we’re very supportive of his sexual orientation, but as long as he can’t make a car payment on his own and spends all his time playing strategy board games with his friends, we will never be able to accept him back into our family,” said Susan Lindegaard, who said that she felt physically ill and had to leave the room when her son broke the news to her that he was living in a cramped two-bedroom apartment with three other roommates and that he was thinking of starting his own T-shirt printing business on the side. “Henry is welcome to bring whoever he loves to this house, but I will not let him walk in the door with that Quiznos uniform on him. How is he not ashamed to be seen in public like that? He has no idea how much that hurts us.” According to sources, after envisioning her son recording his own understated synthesizer-based music on an old four-track in his bedroom, Lindegaard broke down in tears and asked God what she had done for her child to turn out like this.

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nohomo

matching-lime-set

Progress

To realize daddy's unfulfilled dream and to spare a beautiful woman like the mom.

Quiznos is still around?

Masterpiece.

BugChass

Ironically this is the 1 rule in the Liberal parenting handbook. 🤣😂💀

Why are they even talking to a 'reporter'? Were they interviewing people who raise lazy children?

this is the future liberals want

my parents to my trans ass

Lol

*Pretends to laugh*

Savage

Ok but why is it that the son they're describing is basically me?

imo

'being gay is fine. but a gamer?' *shudders*

Setting cats on fire. They drew the line on that.

Takes one to know one

What now?

There’s malware on you page that’s trying to force a reparation on MacOS

his choice of LoL champions suck as does his knack for always finding a way to drive the car into the garage wall

Wait that's the opposite from my backwards parents.

Friggin hilarious!

Looks like he got that gene from good ol dad! !

That hits close to home

😂😂😂

Guess he won't be getting that BA in Biblical Studies from Liberty University?

NYC cfc bunny un.v vby The. Vfc cc CFTC M.j bmbv huh y. Cfg. Cvytdr bury CV by nnn ggv byV ft. Jbru bunny

theusprove

Lol happy PrideDay2019

😆

shitcarpenters1 how cool they interviewed your folks!

Beautiful.

They're really glad he's adopted...

It’s is getting to that point, “You like anime only from the 80s, you are not my son.”

Sick burn 🔥

Could be worse. Could have looked more like you. There is irony here.

But they’ll be damned if he isn’t as racist as they are

I don't care if my child is gay or trans.. but if they come home listening to Coldplay.....

Quiznos shirt, recording on a four track...and...printing t-shirts? The horror. If I were these parents if demand reparations from this degenerate.

They seriously hate his lisp

This is so homophonic

I think a wild party and some glitter might help them cheer up . . .

KatieWhit4235 😆😆😆

I can relate.

Just me next time, damn

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