FDA Approves New Pasta Shape

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WASHINGTON—Following months of analysis and numerous rounds of human trials, the Food and Drug Administration officially announced Thursday the approval of a new pasta shape. “After conducting multiple research studies, we have determined that tagallafoglio is as safe, effective, and flavorful as any other pasta shape on the market,” said FDA commissioner Robert Califf, adding that the tubular curl with scalloped edges passed tests for retaining both tomato and cream-based sauces, and was shown to possess a conveniently short boil time. “The ease with which it can be picked up with a fork and achieve an al dente texture were all in compliance with FDA standards. Furthermore, the pasta can be safely served hot as an entree or cold in a salad, and manufacturers have full approval to produce it without any restrictions regarding use of white flour, wheat flour, or a tricolor mix.” Ostroff cautioned, however, that the new pasta shape was at this time only approved for pairing with a light-bodied red wine.

 

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IT IS ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Italy doesn't

kissand_tellen

What an age we live in!

Oh good I was worried there for a second.

So you're telling me there's illegal pasta shapes?

Whoa! Let's stop this liberal agenda people! First it's our jobs. Then it's our majority population, or whatever I've been typing in my blogs. NOW they want to take over our pasta shapes? WTF Hillary. Thanks for your emails again

Terrifying

Fagioli Department of Aaaayyyyyys

Oooh, that will hold some sauce.

rotini

What a body.... 😍.... One love pastalover

Holy shit the amount of sauce that would cling to this bad boy 😍

Finally!!

It’s about time, I’m getting bored of the same old rigatoni’s and fusilli’s

stephaniebreaa

its just nice to win one for a change

Abomination!

Reassuringly, in its zeal for keeping with the standard of quality, the new shape will still allow for up to 450 insect parts and nine rodent hairs in every 16 oz, not to mention any chemical that has not been proven with overwhelming evidence to cause harm.

As long as its cooked 'al dente' I don't care what shape it is.

I got excited when I read about this 2 years ago when it was in development, I was hoping it would be approved, I really hope they approved it for use in soups as well, that would be awesome, can't wait to try it 🍷

Its in all of us

It's aerodynamic!

Is it possible to hold the sauce too well?

what gives them the right to do this?

This could be a real story

Ah, Pigaweenie...

Looks easy on the colon.

Thank fucking God i was getting bored of the old ones!

Why does a shape European agencies considered not suitable, is acceptable in this country? Our government is in bed with Big Pasta.

Exquisite. Better be good when I eat it.

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