Jonathan Van Ness Shit Himself For SponCon

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There are very few people in human history who have been able to spin shit—I mean, gold—from the most inane, everyday products in the advertising marketplace. Jonathan Van Ness, thankfully, has spent four seasons of Queer Eye honing his blade on the whetstone of sponsored content (and using it to shave the neckbeards of MAGA hat-toting cops and probable incels.) When Charmin toilet paper needed a facelift, he teamed up with the brand for their “Johns, Johnathans, Johnnys, and Jonathinas” campaign, announcing: “I’ve always enjoyed Charmin’s mission to make my bathroom experience more gorgeous.” Now, the bathroom industry has rang their alarm once again, and Jonathan is back and ready to sell. But this time? He’ll do almost anything to close the deal, even shit himself!

needed a facelift, he teamed up with the brand for their “Johns, Johnathans, Johnnys, and Jonathinas” campaign,: “I’ve always enjoyed Charmin’s mission to make my bathroom experience more gorgeous.” Now, the bathroom industry has rang their alarm once again, and Jonathan is back and ready to sell.

urt. But as this is Jonathan Van Ness, avatar of love and light and positivity, he also wants to “remove the stigma and shame” of something he calls “poo shame”—which he’s experienced! As the marketing consultant recounts: “It was Sepulveda and Pico, and I was in a Kia Rio, at a red light, with nowhere to run,” he begins, setting the scene at the Los Angeles intersection. “And it wasn’t a ‘shart’ or a ‘chancer,’ as my step-dad would have said. This wasn’t a chancer — this was a 27-year-old having a full diarrhea that was brought on by a hot, seafood spinach salad with a kombucha and frozen yogurt.”It’s an inspiring story for influencers everywhere, and one of triumph at that.

 

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