New Pre-Sauced Napkins Can Be Thrown Away Straight From Package

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 1 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 4%
  • Publisher: 51%

Business Business Headlines News

Business Business Latest News,Business Business Headlines

CINCINNATI—Describing it as a major time-saver over traditional napkins, Procter & Gamble announced Thursday the release of its new Bounty pre-sauced napkins, which have been expressly designed to be removed from the package and immediately thrown into the trash. “With this new innovation, we’ve cut out all the extra steps between procuring a napkin and then crumpling it up and discarding it,” said the company’s director of marketing, Chase Henderson, explaining that the ready-soiled paper goods completely eliminate the need to first spill something and then wipe it up. “For our initial rollout, the napkins will come partially saturated in your choice of chili, ranch dressing, or spaghetti sauce. Down the road, we’re hoping to introduce napkins that are already wadded up into a big, messy clump, so customers can simply place the entire 200-count package in the garbage all at once.” Henderson added that the company was also developing a new paper plate that comes pre-stained with a triangle of pizza grease.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

Finally! Such a time saver!

Has to be the most disgusting thing you've done. Brilliant

Does it come in Ranch?

😂😂😂

wouldn't make a difference if they were my kids using them..

Finally I always hated doing it myself

Repost

Can I buy them with a different type of sauce?

wow, quite possibly the most useless thing i have ever heard of!

need

'Out of stock.'

Isolation is starting to affect the Onion staff, eh?

A real time-saver

my fatass thought this was laysanya. that shit garfield eat

Reminds me of the long box packaging for Spinal Tap's 'Break Like The Wind'. 😆

great invention. eliminates need to use hand sanitizer.

Finally, we can now have all that BBQ mess without having to deal with food or even cooking.

I’m waiting for “pre-skid marked” toilet paper rolls

Omg!! Where can I buy these? I’ll put them in a trash bag and house them right by my can collection in the garage!!!

This is cursed

Damned. Sold out everywhere.

Mother nature's is spinning in her grave

This is why is not as good as TheBabylonBee.

💕

Finally, something I have been considering buying.

Very Wasteful. I like to enjoy my sauced napkins. Its a real hands free clean up on the way out.

Finally!!! Been waiting for ages 🙆‍♂️

That’s not sauce that’s just Bounty produced in Chicago.

Too soon

Why? I’m so lost...

Fake. There’s not enough sauce in there

Hey! We're still short of toilet paper.

This is America. Well done.

Do they come in barbecue sauce flavor

Golden idea

What brand of sauce? RaosHomemade ? ClassicoSauce ?

and they said RIPCapitalism

Saucy, raw sauce.

😂🤣🤣🤣

This is so convenient!

I hope they come out with double sauced

...I don't EVEN want to see the toilet paper...

Big deal. Give me some poop filled Pampers and we're doing business.

Lmaoooo

Been waiting years for this

loudwhitepisces This pic makes me ill.

Tasty

Incredible how far technology is advancing 😃

now doesnt seem like a great time to be tweeting that

Wait a minute, is this a Dollar Tree product?

hurts to look at

Time saver.

What a time to be alive

_BlankCzech_ how convenient

When will it come in different flavored sauces?

How about pre-sauced toilet paper that i can just throw straight into the toilet?

please don't do toilet paper

Goes great with the new box of baking soda i just dumped in the trash to freshen my garbage.

100% recycled

😁Or President Trump can first throw them in the face of post-hurricane Puerto Ricans as a measure of his FEMA response there.

Saves so much time!

Or spicy food that you can dump in the toilet and not have to eat first.

I heard Trojan Condoms is entering the market with this concept in mind.

'I knew my garbage can was just hungry when it moved to the living room.' -Chénnie Fourgot, office dancer

Try the Pre-Pooped Pampers

For shame. Starving children in Africa could eat those napkins.

Saves on messy clean up.

The quicker-thrower downer!

I'll keep some in my glovebox to toss out the window on Wednesdays.

YOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Ne’er before has a picker-upper been quicker!

But does it come in nacho or pizza flavor? Asking for a friend.

Or you could eat them. Good source of fiber, I think. Maybe.

Perfect. A holiday tip: I buy a new artificial Christmas tree every year.

I saw a similar product made by Kotex.😕

Is there a loo roll version?

This joke is so old it has fully bio-degraded by now

I love this

These are sold in Venezuela

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in BUSİNESS

Business Business Latest News, Business Business Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Meet the exec behind a new Blackstone unit for fast-growing companies - Business InsiderJon Korngold is the face of Blackstone's big push into backing fast-growing companies like Bumble. We talked to a dozen insiders to learn what made him a must-have hire.
Source: BusinessInsider - 🏆 729. / 51 Read more »