Eddie Gallager Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Nightmare About Watching Innocent Iraqi Women Minding Their Own Business

📆 11/26/2019 11:20 PM
📰 TheOnion

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SAN DIEGO—Breathing heavily as his knuckles turned white from gripping the bed sheets, retired Navy SEAL Eddie Gallager woke up in a cold sweat Tuesday after having a nightmare about watching innocent Iraqi women minding their own business. “Jesus Christ, every fucking night I relive this horrible atrocity,” said Gallager as his eyes darted back and forth across the room, ensuring that he was in fact alone and not atop a hill scoping out Baghdadi women and children from hundreds of yards away. “You wouldn’t believe what my men and I were exposed to over there day in and day out. Seeing hundreds of civilians walking around, smiling and running errands without a care in the world, truly spine-chilling stuff. Oh God, I can still hear their voices, filled with utter joy as they chatted with each other. It’s like they’re taunting me, always just out of range.” Gallager revealed that his therapist’s suggestion of imagining himself in a calm, relaxed environment, holding his weapon had so far been ineffective in helping to quell his night terrors.

,” said Gallager as his eyes darted back and forth across the room, ensuring that he was in fact alone and not atop a hill scoping out Baghdadi women and children from hundreds of yards away. “You wouldn’t believe what my men and I were exposed to over there day in and day out. Seeing hundreds of civilians walking around, smiling and running errands without a care in the world, truly spine-chilling stuff.

Write Comment

You spelled his name wrong. It's Gallagher. I expect more journalistic integrity from The Onion.

KyleKulinski The horror the horror

KyleKulinski He ain't right.

KyleKulinski This joke hurts.

Did...did nobody tag POTUS and SecDef?

When will he slaughter his family or other innocents here in the USA.

BethLynch2020 he should form a support group with those idf snipers who were in fear for their lives seeing Palestinian children also minding their own business

Trumpalo: Waaa! Waaa! Waaa!

Still shaking he wonder why he can't just shoot people at will, he just can't process it, it's unfair.

So bo bergdahl and chelsea manning are cool?

So onion is anti american....

Trump is ready with his pardon in case Eddie Gallager decides to kill a brown-skinned US citizen at home.

Next season 'Shameless': Carl finds role model in cousin Eddie.

His nightmares bright and free of terrors.

Triggered Trumpistas will descend here like locusts in 5... 4... 3... 2...

Just wait till he decides to kill again.

Eddie Gallager WarCriminal

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