But what are you going to do with a flamethrower?” my boyfriend asks me. What will I do with the flamethrower? This is the kind of question a person who will never own a flamethrower asks. In any event, it is too late. I have already bought the thing. As I drive up to the SpaceX parking lot at 1:30PM, I can already see people leaving with large white boxes under their arms.
There was a moment, earlier in the year, when it looked like California lawmakers might ban the Not-A-Flamethrower anyway. California assemblyman Miguel Santiago introduced a bill to create a new classification for devices that shoot flames from two to 10 feet. Whatever the Not-A-Flamethrower is, it would have fallen under that classification. Fortunately for me, and everyone else here, the bill stalled in committee. At 2PM, the line moves.
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