Financial Experts Say Stock Market Constantly Plunging, Reaching Record Highs Leading Indicator Of Healthy Economy

NEW YORK—Reminding investors that 800-point swings are completely normal, financial experts confirmed Thursday that the stock market constantly plunging before climbing to record highs was the leading indicator of a healthy economy.

“A highly volatile market that reaches a record high one day before suddenly wiping out weeks’ worth of gains the next is a defining characteristic of a robust economy,” said Standard & Poor’s chief global economist, Paul Gruenwald, who urged investors to remain calm and continue buying up stocks before dumping everything the instant the Dow dropped.

Economics are not my thing, but okay

Short term fluctuations don’t matter. It’s way up overall and that’s what matters.

Sometimes you gotta plunge to soar baby

Apparently it is

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