I’m Terrified of Everyone Knowing My Sexual Business

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Dear How to Do It: How do I keep people from gossiping about my sex life?

I am a 25-year-old man going out with my 25-year-old girlfriend for almost two years now. We are very much in love, and I can’t see myself marrying anyone but her. The only problem is the sex; I am terrible. We had an open chat about it, and she opened up and told me she has always thought the sex was terrible and now doesn’t want to have unfulfilled sex and would rather not have sex in the first place.

What exactly does she consider good sex, and how are you falling short? Is pleasing her theoretically possible for you if you were to do more of this or last longer doing that? Or is this a case of basic incompatibility, because you somehow fall short of what she considers sexy? More clarity is needed to assess your situation.

 

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