Football Pads Only Investment Dad Will Ever Make In Children

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Fake, my dad spent the whole bank account buying me ketamine

And now we play the waiting game. NFL, here we come.

Does this seem familiar ComputedPaladin

Good. An hour in the weight room is more valuable than a lifetime in the classroom

3YearLetterman

Thanks God, daughters are cost-cutting...

'I provided the sperm. And these pads. If you need me, I'll be mowing the lawn or working on the car in the garage for the next 30 years.'

In Canada we have the creatures known as 'hockey parents', who are mostly notorious for trying to beat up teenage referees in the parking lot for calling penalties on 'mah boy!', basically our version of the sort of person who leaves a dog (or a child) in a car on a hot July day

I can only show him the way. The rest is up to him.

In England, we don’t even bother with the pads. We just let them smash the shit out of each other. It’s called Rugby

More straight news 💀

'If you work really hard at this and smash your brains up into a sort of paste, you CAN GET INTO A GOOD COLLEGE!'

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