Dear Care and Feeding: My In-Laws Are Way Too Far Into Our Business

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I'm so sick of confronting my in-laws about our religious views.

I hope when you firmly refused, you did so while acknowledging your in-laws’ good intentions, their love for you and their grandchildren, their devotion to their faith, and your love for them. If you did not, I would follow up by doing so now. This is unlikely to be the last time such a thing comes up. And in fact it’s not the first—it’s only the first time you weren’t able to sidestep without a confrontation. You note that your in-laws already know you and your husband are nonbelievers.

But there’s also nothing wishy-washy about recognizing that your in-laws mean well. If you make yourself absolutely clear , it will get easier, I promise. It will take fewer words each time. You may be tempted to make a blanket rule about this—no gifts related to religion ever, no church, no proselytizing—but I wouldn’t. I’ve found that people are often tempted to try for one big fix, hoping they’ll never have to deal with a version of that problem again. But this hardly ever works .

 

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