Jewelry Company Jumps Gun With Engagement Ring Commercial Featuring Polyamorous Triad

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NEW YORK—Saying the company had skipped a good five or six steps on society’s path to wider acceptance of nontraditional relationships, marketing experts told reporters Wednesday that jewelry retailer Zales had definitely jumped the gun with its new engagement ring commercial featuring a polyamorous triad. “Zales is definitely getting a bit ahead of itself with its new ‘Abundant Love’ ad—today’s consumers just aren’t ready to see a jewelry commercial like this,” said Venture Marketing brand consultant Caitlin Boyd regarding the new campaign, which depicts a man simultaneously proposing to his male and female co-primaries while presenting three identical gold engagement bands. “This could maybe fly in 15, 20 years, but TV viewers are going to need to see a number of other alternative relationships in engagement ring ads first: a non-monogamous heterosexual dyad, trans partners, at least a few biracial lesbian couples. As it stands, this one’s certainly putting the cart before the horse.” When reached for comment, a Zales representative stated that the rings, which are available in sets of three or more, can also be customized for polyamorous unions involving secondary, tertiary, or pivot partners.

NEW YORK—Saying the company had skipped a good five or six steps on society’s path to wider acceptance of nontraditional relationships, marketing experts told reporters Wednesday that jewelry retailer Zales had definitely jumped the gun with its new engagement ring commercial featuring a polyamorous triad.

“Zales is definitely getting a bit ahead of itself with its new ‘Abundant Love’ ad—today’s consumers just aren’t ready to see a jewelry commercial like this,” said Venture Marketing brand consultant Caitlin Boyd regarding the new campaign, which depicts a man simultaneously proposing to his male and female co-primaries while presenting three identical gold engagement bands.

 

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Ugh. Grossarama.

3 rings were forged for the elves.

Wow smh

3 for one deal

LOL

My mistake. I thought this was a Donald Trump bulk-purchase.

I'm in.

David Crosby could not be reached for comment.

How will they divide forever hearts into three equal parts?

Cock rings?

AtelierHeidi ProJared HollyConrad

Also available in white gold

КАК У БАКТЕРИЙ

The 'Golden Rings of Nephi' set, now available at all Zales locations in Provo, Utah.

Alyssa51279086 slytherinsloth9

Does this count as a pride month tweet?

The fellowship of the rings

This is a sure hit. I wish I had a knack for finding & fulfilling such gaps in the Market.

Its cheaper to buy wedding rings in egg cartons.

GottaHaveSomeDP

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