DEAR ERIC: I was an employee at a small company in a small town and got laid off a few years ago. I had been there more than 10 years and had become friends with the owner, who was about my age.
At the time, it shattered me, and I didn’t like the way it was handled. Nevertheless, I left with as much professionalism as I could. After I left, I blocked the owner on all media, so I could move on without thinking about the past, and I have. I got another job and haven’t seen or spoken to the owner since, though I’m still hurt by it.
Recently, the company has fallen on tough times, and I hear that the owner is not doing well. My instinct is to ignore it. I don’t really need to have this person in my life, though for a long time we were friends.DEAR EX-FRIEND: Is it a grudge or is it a relationship that’s fractured? A grudge puts all the onus on you, but, per your description, the layoff wasn’t handled well so there may be responsibility on both sides here.
Friendship at work can be tricky, especially if that friend is also the boss. Work friendships can develop into beautiful additions to our lives and last for decades. But work itself is like a Vegas casino: the house always wins . The owner, your former friend, made decisions in the interest of work. Though they were perhaps the only decision available at the time, it’s hard not to take that personally. It fractured your relationship.You don’t have to reopen the relationship. But if your paths cross or if you find yourself feeling compassionate, a simple “You’re in my thoughts” can go a long way.