The wheelchair-bound Gershon, who has required an expensive regimen of pills and physical therapy since a 2010 car crash, was greeted at his front door by cheering, party-hat-wearing members of Cigna’s senior management, who posed for pictures while presenting him with an oversized cardboard “Claim Denied!” letter explaining that he was judged fit to return to work and would lose all coverage at the end of the month.
Excitement continued to grow throughout the summer as eager employees began refusing claims for procedures the company had previously covered by saying that they “hadn’t been coded right,” which accelerated its march towards 50 billion by an additional 200,000 fucking-overs per day.
jo_avg vote anyone but bernie and give them 50 billion more!
Of the same customer?
Damn it, Onion. Too true to even be funny.
🤣
airball77
TheDrashman
Haha!
I'm astounded that that milestone hasn't been passed decades ago...?
cameron_kasky I moved to Asia a few months ago. Had to go to the doctor and get blood test and an IV. Walked out with medication and it cost me 6 dollars. Mean while in the USA I would have had to sell my car to pay for those things
StateFarm
cameron_kasky AnthemBCBS
gorilladrama Just that one customer?
JamiePastore9 all you
truth
Better then Gambling - you always win.. One Day
The best part is when they take the wheelchair because it's not covered.
PaPa_ShultS 🤔
Our government managing our healthcare would be infinitely worse! 🇺🇸💪🏿🌈🌹🇺🇸
That’s still less than government-run Medicare.
The Onion is a constant source of amusement in my life. Thank you, you funny fuckers.
Well you can hardly find one of this these days.
Lucky guy, he actually got to meet with a rep from the company! He should be thankful and pay out of pocket for his sudden cancer like he deserves, because we all know that people who don't work hard enough get cancer.
gillykaron congratulations on your win
Hell yeah - let’s get to 100 billion!
I would tag my insurance company but they'd probably retaliate by denying me pap smears or something
A milestone!
bzref But remember, some people love their insurance company.
Oh lawd
Wow 50 billion...... NEW HIGH SCORE!!!
What do we win? This super confusing bill...
Sad but true!