Is One Child Enough? And Is That Question Anyone’s Business?

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'Are You Going To Have Another Baby' is the younger cousin of the big, sharp, dangerous question: 'Do You Want Kids?' says Nell Frizzell.

Are You Going To Have Another Baby is the younger cousin of the big, sharp, dangerous question: Do You Want Kids? It lurks behind it, biding its time, ready to leap out as soon as you bounce off the birthing ball, put away your nursing bra, wave your child off to nursery, or any of the other apparent parenting milestones. By actually having a baby, at the not-so-grand but not-so-young age of 32, I thought I’d finally silenced the speculation about my uterus. To myself and others.

When is a question just a question and when is a question an out-of-date, slightly bloated, label-peeling can of worms around which you should be extremely careful? Honestly, I don’t know. Some people will be desperate to be asked if they want another baby; to be given the opportunity to discuss it, to make an exciting announcement, to ask for support. Others will really wish you hadn’t. But I will say this: You might want to have a glass of wine or a plate of biscuits on hand when you ask.

 

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The mostly common question, especially between woman’s .

I don’t think “do you want kids” is a dangerous question! I’m 41 and the question has never bothered me. The only time it could be “dangerous” is if someone desperately wanted them and couldn’t have them.. but I don’t think any regular person would see any malice behind it

Even more so when you try have a second child and you do not succeed for various reasons. Such questions amplify a sense of failure and frustration, sometimes undermining a couple’s relationship and the individual’s mental health. These questions should not be asked in my opinion

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