The 2023 Hater's Guide to the Bay Area real estate market

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Drew Magary returned to the bay for another real estate hater’s guide — this time setting his sights on dreaded downtown San Francisco and the nearby ’burbs.

And while he was certainly right about the neighborhood being undesirable, many of the apartments I toured in SoMa did themselves no favors. They had real “my first apartment in 1999 Manhattan” energy to them. But they were selling for under $1 million, if you could warp your sensibilities enough to deem them a good value. You could even find parking on the street if reserved spaces weren’t included with your purchase.

There are small pockets of downtown — specifically, little niches in SoMa — with an actual grocery store nearby, plus in-building amenities like conference centers and gyms. But all of them have about as much character as Bancroft Village does. I’ve seen developments like this in plenty of other cities, including Boston, Washington, D.C., and Manhattan.

Tour company owner Ira and his wife, Jennifer, were realizing as much at the open house on Guy Place. They were moving to San Francisco from Boston, scouting out neighborhoods — and the homes within them — where they could raise a coming baby. While they were checking out one of many upper levels of the main house, I heard Jennifer say to her husband, “This isn’t quite what I was expecting.” I couldn’t tell if she was talking about the house or about the happenin’ part of town it’s situated in.

 

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