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Progressive Company Pays Both Men And Women 78% Of What They Should Be Earning

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SEATTLE—Stressing the importance of treating all its staff members equally, progressive technology firm Northstar Solutions described to reporters Wednesday its strict policy of paying both male and female workers 78 percent of what they should be earning. “At Northstar, we’ve always believed that employees who contribute the same level of hard work for the same duties should earn the same meager fraction of a reasonable wage, regardless of whether they’re men or women,” said the company’s founder and CEO, Jack Stargell, who noted that every staff member’s compensation package was routinely reviewed to ensure that personnel with comparable experience and job responsibilities were being equivalently underpaid. “Sex is simply not a determining factor in how we view our workers; they’re all disposable quantities to us that deserve an identical amount of disrespect and lack of recognition. No exceptions.” While noting that these gender-equal practices were unorthodox, Stargell added that the company was already seeing clear benefits to its bottom line.

 

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Sounds about right.

And to make this actual real life, make it 78% of what those men make for women... 78% of what moc in those those will make... and 78% of what woc in those those those will make...

You can't be sexist if you hate both genders!

MattMing1 Breaking News: 36 year old obese man with sweet sweet tits is often mistaken as a woman and quoted as saying the worst part is being paid 75% of what a man without sweet sweet tits makes. TitsIsJustShortForBoobies

now that`s progress

the best part about this headline is that it still implies a raise for both of them

78%? Feels like every non-exec is making less than that.

Equality right! :'(

And the trees are all kept equal. By hatchet, axe, and saw. (Neil Peart)

*cries in working class*

You mean 7.8%... ^_^

Who comes up with these creative headlines?

its a shame, I thought we had progressed past the need for paychecks.

As long as my dear CEO can afford a jet yacht I'm bursting with pride and seeking a second job.

LOL

Yay to equality!!

Blizzard_Ent

HillcrestCardCo Even though I knew this was The Onion, I had to read to see if it was my employer.

Where are they, and are they hiring? It would mean a big pay raise for me!!

DNC prolly gonna put this on their platform

Who says capitalism doesn't work?

I'm sorry onion, but reality went ahead and won that headline a while ago 😔

this is just capitalism

As long as the k-cups are restocked, we'll all be fully caffeinated!

Awh

That is UNFAIR! When my kids DO their CHORES, I ALWAYS pay them in FULL! NO MATTER what they are GENDERED!

Still multiple times more than what people currently earn.

I mean equally shit pay i guess?

Too damned true.

bruh.

Finally!

😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂

Finally

That's progress!I'm sure other companies will follow suit!

and 👏that’s 👏on 👏equality👏

thomasgdocs Back when I was running the school newspaper, I only payed people 10% of what they were earning. This is still extremely biased

Progressive They’re outing you

Nevertheless, he persisted.

Send their jobs to China and the company can save another 64%.

Harsh but fair

😂😂

corybarlog Imagine this

It’s like affirmative action!

Makes sense when five people are doing one person's job.

That is not funny in some parts of the world

They finally cracked the code.

I just got laid off from a job like that

so, any retail job?

No gender pay gap today 😤 💯

Yeah? How much does it pay for eggs?

Oh my fucking god this is good

I wish I made that much!

Also called Amazon Prim.

They pay so well. Places like Walmart and McDonalds won't even pay people half of what they should be making.

Money makes no sense.

TYT

Its not a company, its New York State.

It really is time to screw all our workers equally

progressive company treats all their wageslaves equally badly

corybarlog A+ headline

Women wanted equal pay didn’t they?

Well, finally!

Chaotic equaly

Don’t work at Progressive. They kick dogs

The company name: Progressive AF

Equal but unfair

McDonald's?

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