what we've all experienced: most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life.
The transaction might also be more subtle — you're friends with them because they admire you with cartoon hearts in their eyes and in return you get a shot to your self-esteem. You're friends because they hold you back just enough that you can blame them, rather than yourself, for not accomplishing your dreams.
More seriously, if you're battling a substance abuse problem normalized by a friend group , it's difficult yet crucial to drop friends. Indeed, showing up at the same bar with the same people will inevitably lead to the same behavior. But there are clues: Your friendship may feel unnecessarily intricate. You're at a loss for words when others ask you about the friendship. "It's complicated," is the best you can muster.
Do any of these sound familiar? You justify selfish and inconsiderate behavior: "I'm sure he meant to clean up this mess he left when he borrowed my car; he was probably just busy." You initiate all the ideas, make all the plans, and are responsible for changing them if they're not convenient for your friend: "Oh, you decided to meet a Tinder date tonight? Um, sure, we can reschedule.
The research on friendship is rife with words like "reciprocal," "mutual," and "shared," and if none of those come to mind when you think about a particular friendship, it might be time to back away.
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