Historians Piece Together Carnival East India Company’s First Cruise In 1605

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LONDON—Working from recently discovered ships’ logs and archaeological findings, a team of historians announced Monday they had pieced together a detailed account of the Carnival East India Company’s maiden cruise—the very first seafaring journey to the Far East dedicated solely to the enjoyment and entertainment of its passengers.\n

Beyond its promise of general leisure, the ship is known to have offered several scheduled entertainment options, the most popular of which was the nightly opportunity to have clergymen flagellate any passengers who believed they deserved punishment for their idleness, frivolity, or other mortal sins. In addition, it is believed that voyagers could disembark at various ports of call to gawk at “savages” and buy small satchels of spices, indigo dyes, jade, or opium.

“Several surviving written accounts of the voyage mention that by far the most popular diversion on the H.M.S.was a kindly Italian magician named Giuseppe who performed a simple cup-and-ball routine and was adored by the children on the ship,” Carter said. “In fact, many aboard expressed regret when, after roughly 48 hours at sea, Giuseppe was burned alive on the main deck by a mob of passengers who had charged him with the crime of witchcraft.

“I am a full Fort-night into my Sojourne, but only thryce yet have I beene poisen’d unto vomitous Bile and runny-ing Feculence by somme be-fouled Pottage or badly salt’d Meate,” Osborne wrote in praise of his experience aboard the H.M.S.’s maiden voyage. “Verily, not Two-Score Deathes have I witness’d of late, and those mere Cases of Scurvy, Drowning, Dæmon possession, Grippe, Mariner’s Palsy, or Childe-birth.

“At one point, the Carnival East India Company actually laid claim to an entire 2,400-acre island intended as a private retreat for its passengers,” said Carter, referring to a remote desert isle in a then-uncharted region off the coast of Siam. “However, years of cannibal attacks eventually forced the company to abandon it.

 

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Always been Petri dishes 🧫...

Ah yes, the Queen's charter gave them a monopoly on having a jolly good time

So little to do and the food was awful!

Who’s below decks!!

Didn't have to worry about coronavirus. Just scurvy, plague, hunger, storms, cruel punishment, buggery.

And, no one was eaten.....maybe fell overboard...

Clever rebranding by the British.

Hang that scurvy dog from the yardarm!

When the folks back then were asked how their cruise was going, most said that they couldn’t complain about it.

“Primary sources suggest that the one-third of passengers who were not taken captive by mercenaries or impressed into naval service had the time of their lives,” Sounds awesome :)

Any Lemons, Oranges? Man scurvy thuks....

Safer than going with PrincessCruises

'Anybody for Shuffleboard?'

TheBabylonBee creators are so much better than

deep cut, but that buffet *muah* *italian kissing fingers*

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