NEW YORK—Laying out several new initiatives and detailed plans for implementing them in the upcoming weeks and months, Janneson Media CEO Adam Hamlin revealed to his staffers Thursday that he has some really big ideas for growing the company’s problems, sources reported.
“I was initially skeptical of any aggressive growth strategy given the current size of our company’s problems, but after hearing Adam outline his proposals, I’m now completely confident that we can double the size of our problems over the next quarter,” said Janneson employee Wendy Lyman, noting that the CEO’s plan included changes that would create more issues across every department and significantly increase the number of difficulties and setbacks by the end of the year.
Paying workers a decent wage and offering health insurance? That'll get him fired with a $50 million severance package real quick.
Elon looks better these days. elonmusk
To counter lowering employee wages he is seeking special privileges to increase federal and local taxes.
All he needs to do is tweet constantly and sexually harass his employees and he'll get the company bankrupt in no time!
“Grow his yearly salary.”
Should have used elon pic
'Jokes'
Sounds Familiar...
Top priority, I want an entire department dedicated to new buzzwords and catch phrases.
'Let's make our verification system a subscription 💀'
Titan of Industry.
hbomax's ceo when he saw that his platform had animation content on it
chad
Rerunning material from 2015?
so that the interns can find the solutions..
We have to optimize the Metaverse on the blockchain with crypto and NFT’s NOW before it’s too late!
When I worked for Office Depot, they decided to add weird little 'slogans' to the chair boxes. One was, 'Be an executive... or at least sit like one!' So I asked, 'Okay, but what if I need my thumbs for something else?'
Watch out! He's got a Venn diagram.
Pro Tip: Fire the guy that knows the most about what the company does. This is usually the guy that isn't management but gets paid the most. Big reduction in payroll while multiplying those growing problems!
Something, something synergy.
That shouldn't be hard
I think he'll succeed.
Move all the staff to LA?
failure isn't always easy
Nice 👍