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It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

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SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job. “He sits there at his little desk sending out all-staff emails outlining our goals for the rest of the year, and you can tell he actually believes he’s contributing something worthwhile—it’s sort of cute,” said employee Corinne Dwyer, adding that the entire staff found it “absolutely adorable” how proud Warner was when he introduced his ideas for an ambitious social media marketing campaign earlier this month. “Yesterday, he came up with this slogan to motivate the staff, and it was obvious he really thought people were inspired by it. Sometimes I just wanna hug that lovable little empty suit.” Dwyer went on to say that it broke her heart just imagining the look on Warner’s darling face when he finds out she and most everyone else in her department are quitting.

 

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This kinda reads like gen z 'quiet quitting' fan fiction, ngl

That’s every CEO… always an excuse and of why they didn’t perform. Also, once they’re in the club, regardless of their results, they always seem to be able to find another job

I said my door is always open twice and think outside the box 4 times!

Board room is now empty,his kids did the art work,managers duties now include landscaping plumbing and housekeeping. CEO now on government black list. SUCCESS!

Just Elon Musk

It is good he recognizes all his employees and calls them ‘Sport’

If the company still making $ then, well,

It kinda sweet The Onion intern think he doing good job

'I'm please to announce we've used accounting tricks to move our inevitable bankruptcy until at LEAST next quarter!' -Sweet CEO

In other news: Boeing glad their planes wouldn't be of any use after all as global demand plummets.

I had a stronk reding thas

cc issabailot :d

mike mcavoy

Well he'll get a $3 Million bonus for it, so

Well he say, think outside the box...

The grammar makes it even cuter

Awww

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