WASHINGTON—In an effort to soothe public worry about how tech giants handled user information, social media platforms reassured the nation Wednesday that they were only selling everyone’s data to one creepy guy.
“We know everyone is under the assumption that their private data is being sold to companies, advertisers, and even government organizations, but really it’s just one weirdo who sits behind a computer jerking off all day to everyone’s stuff,” said Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, noting that Facebook and Instagram along with competing platforms like Twitter, Snapchat, and TikTok all sell the data to the same skinny, balding man who never showers named Keith.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more: